Lactose Tolerant

Have you forgotten of your love for milk? I have. I consumed a glass of raw, untainted milk the other day and was, at once, jettisoned back to my childhood -- a time when milk was consumed in gallons and bones were thereby made solid and sturdy. It's difficult to forget the tasty combination of milk + PBJ sandwich.

I poured myself another glass. I raised it, and drank again of this savory nectar, my throat becoming glossy with protein and vitamin D. Who could've created such a delightful substance?

Yet, turmoil bubbled under the surface of my delight. I must confess that there have always been lingering doubts in my head about the origins of milk's central place in our dietary culture. Who was the first person to grab ahold of a female cow's teats, extract the milky substance, and thereafter conclude: "This white substance that I have squeezed would be good for me and my health. I should drink of this substance."

Does it not give rise to at lease an inkling of doubt in your head?

[Aside: The question is not unlike one associated with the egg. Who first saw an egg fall from a chicken? And who first said to themselves, "These white, orb-like structures, with this white and yellow gooey substance inside ... this thing that just popped out of that chicken ... will be good for me and my family to eat. Grab one."]

Oh well. Let's push those thoughts aside, far aside, and learn a little about milk. The formal definition of milk would include the fact that it is "an opaque white liquid produced by the mammary glands of female mammals." It provides nutrition for newborn mammals before they are able to digest other foods.

Milk contains signficant amounts of satured fat, protein, calcium and vitamin C. Another website indicates that it also contains Vitamin A, Vitamin B-12, Potassium, Riboflavin, Niacin, and Phosphorus. Cow milk is one of the most popular animal milks, but people from around the world drink the milk of camels, goats, llamas, reindeer, sheep, and water buffalo. (Got llama milk?). Cats are not recommended. Whole milk apparently contains about 3.5% milk fat, but low fat milk is available also (2% and 1%). Nonfat or skim milk must contain less than .5% milk fat. Please drink pastuerized milk.

How long should keep milk past the expiration date? I know certain people that throw it away, strictly, on the date listed on the side of the milk container. But, that date has significant psychological effects on certain consumers. Science shows that milk does not necessarily transmogrify into cottage cheese or sour cream on the "sell-by" date. Rather, the "pour-down-the-sink" date depends on how adventurous you are. One website indicates you can keep it 3-5 days after the "sell-by" date.

Finally, how do we actually extract this milk for purposes of our consumption? Well, there are two ways: (1) by machine and (2) by hand. Milking a cow by machine is more straight-forward and takes less skill and tenderness than milking by hand. You simply secure the cow in position, clean the cow's teats, turn on the milking machine, hand-milk each teat a few times to let down the milk, and then place the suction device on each teat. You just have to wait until all the milk is out of the udder.

Milking by hand is much more complicated, and requires much more skill and attention. It is (at least) an eleven step process. Wikihow teaches us the following:

• Secure the cow in position.
• Clean the teats with soapy water or iodine. Warm, soapy water can help "bring down" the milk. Dry them, but don't rub or irritate the teats.
• Place a bucket underneath the udder.
• Sit or squat in a position that will allow you to move away quickly if the cow becomes uncooperative. Sitting cross-legged on the ground, for example, is not safe.
• Apply a lubricant such as vaseline to your hands to keep friction to a minimum.
• Wrap your hands around two of the four teats.
• Squeeze the base of the teat.
• Squeeze down to push out the milk, maintaining your grip on the base of the teat so that the milk doesn't flow back up into the udder. Do not jerk or yank the teats. Be gentle but firm. Keep your eyes peeled for mastitis.
• Repeat with your other hand. Most people prefer to alternate (right hand, left hand, right hand, etc.)
• Continue until the udder on the side that you're milking looks deflated. Experienced farmers can feel the udder to know exactly when all the milk has come down.
• Move on to milk the other two teats.

I think I've probably milked this for all it's worth. Let me know if you have any questions or comments.