The Chicken: Carrying You Down the Darkest Alleys of the World to Safety

While we're on the topic of eggs, we might as well discuss the Chicken -- that most populous of birds in the United States. Ever since they were created, and ever since God looked at them and found them to be "good," chickens have been reproducing like ... ... like chickens. In 2003, there were 24 billion chickens in the world! That's a lot of chickens.

Male chickens are are known as roosters (U.S.) or cocks (U.K). Males under a year old are known as cockerels. Castrated (ouch) roosters are known as capons. Females are known as hens or pullets.

In nature, chickens may live for five to seven years. However, in commercial farming operations, a chicken usually only lasts six weeks before they're slaughtered and sent to our kitchens for consumption.

Mm. Tastes like chicken.

Matilda

The oldest chicken was affectionately named "Matilda." She died of heart failure at the age of 16. Determined to avoid being the "cluck" in the "cluck-n-oink," Matilda diligently worked as a magician's assistant in the 1990s. She was known for being even-tempered, attention-seeking, and egg-less.

Apparently, the laying of eggs makes most chickens "moody."

It is reported that, in the magician's show, Matilda appeared in a pan which seconds earlier appeared to contain little more than runny egg yolk. Such an early death for such a great chicken!

Interwoven

Is there any debate that chickens are woven into the very fabric of our lives? We voraciously eat chicken eggs -- fried, boiled, poached, scrambled, raw. We eat chicken meat. Other meats of unknown-origin "taste like chicken." We watch movies with chickens as the main character. We affectionately refer to people who are not "up to the task" as "chickens."

I could go on and on.

Is it any wonder, then, that some people believe that the chicken simply must be followed. Perhaps the eagle will get you killed, but the chicken will carry you down the darkest alleys of the world safely. The chicken will take you there and sleep you in the hotels of kings and the palaces of kings and queens. For more information on these and other facts about the Chicken, please review this deposition transcript that has made its way around the internet.

We can learn a lot from the chicken.